Kaylee-Jade

beauty . lifestyle . feminism

  • Home
  • About Me
  • beauty
  • feminism
  • lgbt
  • mental health
  • positivity
2016 feminism lgbt sexuality

sexuality and the need to label.

February 5, 2016



A few days back George Shelley of Union J and I’m a Celebrity fame posted a short video to YouTube talking about his sexuality. Strangely, I had actually planned to write this blog post before George’s announcement. In the video, George discusses how there has been much speculation surrounding his sexuality and that he wanted to clarify that he had had both girlfriends and boyfriends in the past. He went onto say that he does not need to label his sexuality, as for him labels are old fashioned. Of course, the media jumped on the story and announced that George had came out as ‘bisexual’ completely ignoring the point George was trying to make.

For me personally, George’s video is everything I had wanted to say in my original blog post. If you are not aware, I have been in a relationship with a girl for almost 7 years and we have been engaged for almost two years. Prior to this, I had had relationships with boys. (I say this very loosely as I was only 20 when I met my partner). I have been very lucky to grow up in a liberal accepting family and I have always been very vocal in my support for LBGT rights. Even as a teenager growing up in the early naughties when the idea of being gay was not as prevalent in society as it is now. I have never ever had a struggle internally with the fact I can like men or women. However, I have had a struggle externally with people trying to ‘label’ my sexuality.

A lot of people, even my family, assume I’m gay. The fact I have been with my partner for so long and my previous relationships were short lived I believe found this assumption. I have had a few acquaintances say ‘You’re gay now, aren’t you?’. I don’t get annoyed with this, they do not mean any harm. It is just frustrating that there has to be a label thrust upon me. A lot of bisexual people have talked about the struggle of ‘bi-erasure’ and I used to think this did not really exist (like the ignorant person I was before finding the glory of feminism). Even though I would not label myself bisexual, I still see it around me all the time. People still see in black and white; you’re either gay or straight. There is no in between.

However, sexuality is a fluid concept. It can mean different things to different people. Because of  this, there are now numerous sexualities including but not limited to straight, bisexual, asexual, and pansexual. I find this quite hard to deal with. I understand why the sexuality and gender spectrum has increased over the years. It gives people a form of self identity. But I do not need a label. I am me. And I like who I like. Gender does not even come into the question. I like the person for their personality and the emotional connection we make. It is very rare that I ever feel anything for anyone purely on a physical/sexual level. And at this point, it does not even matter? I am in a committed relationship with a girl. Because I fell in love with her. It does not negate my past relationship. It does not mean I am ‘now’ gay. Likewise, If George falls in love with a girl, it does not change who he is. If George falls in love with a guy, it still does not change who he is. 

I want to make it clear, I am not saying that people should not be labelled. Labels are very good and powerful and allow for more representation within the mainstream. Being able to call yourself gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual (the list goes on) is a fantastic thing. But allow a person to label themselves, do not do it for them. And do not assume if a person is in a relationship with another person of the same-sex that they are automatically categorised for life. 

What do you think about labels and the fluidity of sexuality? Feel free to comment below to tell me your views, I would love to hear them 🙂







RELATED

femivision || buffy the vampire slayer || “I say we change the rule. I say…
February 9, 2020
femivision || 13 reasons why
April 20, 2017
femivision || gilmore girls || the dean of it all
October 13, 2016
the problems with having anxiety alongside being an introvert.
October 5, 2016
a letter to my father on the anniversary of his death
August 21, 2016
Leave a Comment 
5

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

about me


kaylee-jade. 31. bath, uk.
writer. infp. intersectional feminist. blonde. opinionated. liberal. make up obsessive. chihuahua lover. fashionista wannabe.

Follow Me

BlogLovin’

Follow

featured

the best feeling in the world

sexuality and the need to label.

Pranks, Petitions and Sam Pepper.

popular

  • sexuality and the need to label. (5)
  • a letter to my father on the anniversary of his death (4)
  • From low end to high end make up haul. (3)
  • may 2016 make up haul and review (3)
  • life overhaul : going back where I belong (2)

Follow @ Instagram


Warning: Illegal string offset 'username' in /var/sites/k/kaylee-jade.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/instagram-slider-widget/includes/class-wis_instagram_slider.php on line 859
No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

ACTIVATE on Bloglovin’

Back to top
  • social media