2015 is long over. 2016 has begun. My blogging ambition from last year floundered due to anxiety driven breakdowns which was disappointing for me. But that does not mean I can’t start again this year. I have massively overhauled my layout this afternoon in preparation for a fresh start on this blog. I will continue to talk about my battles with anxiety and depression but will also feature lifestyle related posts; make up reviews, hair tutorials and documenting the exciting adventures throughout my year.
I do not want to talk too much about 2015. It was not the worst year but it definitely was not the best either. Medically it was the year I started to sort myself out; I finally went onto anxiety medication, finished my year of counselling (which was a relief as I was not finding it as helpful as I had been at the beginning) and started CBT. I was finally honest with the people around me about what I had been going through. I made up with friends, I lost friends. I took time away from university in attempt to get my mental state together, I restarted in September. I had wonderful holidays to Devon and Florida. Magic Kingdom now owns my heart. I felt much more positive at the end of 2015 than I did at the beginning.
I have named 2016 “The year of challenges”. Because that is what I am determined to do; challenge myself at every opportunity. I want to push myself to succeed. I want to beat anxiety once and for all. I want to enjoy social events again. I want to be able to go to the theatre or the cinema and not spend the entire time worried about all the ways I could die at that second. I want to be able to leave the house without having a panic attack. I want to do simple everyday things without completely irrational fears taking over. My anxiety is strong but I am stronger. I want my life back.
I also want to feel confident in my body. I want to do different things. I want to eat differently so I have become vegetarian. I want to exercise more. I want to finally get into shape. I’d like to be more adventurous with my hair, I’ve already started this by dip dying the ends blue/purple.
I have two main goals this year work wise. The first is to get my head down and get through my (second) second year of university. My second is to keep up with this blog and update at least once a week. Obviously the first has to come before the second. But fingers crossed that both go as I hope and plan.
I know that 2016 is going to be a wonderful year for me and the people around me. Lots of brilliant things are already in the works. One of my closest friends is having another baby, I am so so excited for that. She already has an adorable little girl called Daphne, I predict she will have a baby boy this time. Helen and I already have many theatre and music gigs booked. The wedding planning is in full force. I am so excited for everything that is happening and I am really thrilled that I get to share it with you.
Until next time 🙂